...by default, 'Shrek'

Cut a long story short, the Die Hard friend convoy fell apart so I went on my own (which I like, anyway.) Plus, it coincided with the walk home from work so 'Shrek' it was. Was I glad I paid over a fiver? Yes and no. Affirmative because cinema is a home from home, whatever I'm watching and no, because it was a bit crap. Quite a bit crap.

OK. So I'm not a five year old kid who might be entertained by pretty animation which does far-far-away farts or even a ten year old who is giggles at the sight of donkey and Puss in Boots swapping bodies. I am (I have to face it) a grown up and even with a sense of humour, this film is a disappointment. Without wasting too much time explaining why, is falls ever so flat. The McGuffin is Arthur, a kid who might be king and whom Shrek is on a mission to find so he can dodge the dying wish of the Frog-King to take the throne. The bad-guy is Rupert Everett (who I adore!!) as Prince Charming who wants the job himself. Cue the heroes misadventures and the baddies gang-related plot hatching.

The characters are so underused, the writers need slapping. Fiona, even when finally getting in on the action street-fighting along side Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, might well have not been there at all. Eric Idle does a tepid turn as Merlin (who looks great) whilst Justin Timberlake could have been voiced by anyone (probably cheaper!) Mike Myers, were you trying to sleep???

I loved the look of the baddies. Captain Hook, Rumpelstiltskin (adorable) and the Wicked Witch all had great potential. I'd have loved to have been watching a film about their evil-doings rather than a boring, sloppily scripted film about ogres....

The music in the 'Shrek' series has always been above par and this time was no exception although how they can justify the use of frogs singing an excellent Wings tune (Live and Let Die) and expect anyone to make the leap re: frog chorus, I'll never know. (OK, I just did but then I'm a Wings fan....)

I'm fed up with green monsters. Next!

(Trailers included 'Surfs Up' ('zurfing' Penguins...) and 'Bratz' (no thanks, well...maybe...)

I'm looking forward to Ratatouille, thank you very much.